And If You Don't?
by SamNny
Summary: "And so putting aside all thoughts of princes, and kings, and brothers, Kaoru decided to pick back up his pace and try and cross the invisible finish line. Even if this was not something he could share with Hikaru, he doubted that he would anyway." Kaoruhi


There was something about that morning that he was just so uncertain of. It was as if his entire body was on autopilot and his thoughts danced in and out of conscious awareness. After all, one does not seamlessly roll out of bed in the morning without acting accordingly with his twin after such a long period of time. And he would most certainly admit to feeling utterly out of place, out of sorts, possibly out of his mind, and out of reasons not to go crawling back.

Without so much as a hazy glance behind him, he threw on his most comfortable pair of jeans, a loose fitting tank top, a plain blue vest, his worn-out sandals, and grabbed his headphones. There was no one to stop him as he trotted downstairs and bolted out the door; it was, after all, seven thirty-ish on a Saturday morning. Even the maids were still sleeping, not having any duties to attend to for at least another half an hour. Though, with their parents being out of town, no real work would be required until around ten or eleven.

In any case, he was long gone before he could even have a flicker of thought about the matter. And he didn't even have his cell phone to get an ear-full of his brothers crying and tantrums later. What a shame. Still, he found the forgotten fabric of his pockets to be delightfully comfortable as he shoved his hands deeper into them. A small smile tugged at his lips at the random thought and he realized that he was further allowing the nonsense and recklessness of his thoughts get the better of him. Yet he had no real qualms about it, so he let his feet pick up the pace.

There was no destination in mind either, just the humble and aimless thought of walking around seemed appealing and refreshing. Could this sudden spurt of spontaneity be due to the early morning? There was something charming about being up this early all on one's own (i.e. not having to be forcibly awakened by a deafening alarm clock and two sly mistresses for another lame day at school). That had to be it, for the sun was never as vibrant and alive as it was when it first rose. So he went with that theory.

His topaz eyes darted between the sidewalk beneath his feet and the buildings to his left, leaving him to silently muse over what was actually inside of those cramped-looking places. He'd lived near them for so long, but never bothered to peak his curiosity. Perhaps it was because no one else cared? Nevertheless, he mentally noted the names written artistically on the signs in front and tried to tell himself that he'd search them later. He didn't have quite enough interest to go waltzing inside and poke around.

The music pounded against his eardrum, but he never once questioned if that was safe or not. He was more than pleased to have the sensational vibrations of the music thump against his ears, so long as he could enjoy the sound they produced. His iPod was on shuffle, jumping from Golden Bomber to the more American (Canadian) style of Marianas Trench. There was a little bit of everything going on, he thought, but it suited him well. He was never one to finalize his taste in anything. After meeting a girl like Haruhi, he didn't want to.

Speaking of her, he hadn't realized just how far he'd wandered. His subconscious movements had been dragged out for an hour without him even knowing. He'd managed to float all the way to the other side of town, to the "commoners market," he noted. He remembered coming here with Haruhi's father and the rest of the Host Club. He tried to recognize buildings and faces, but it was to no avail. Not until she came into his sights.

"Haruhi..." He whispered. The sound of her name rolling off his lips made them tingle and a slight shiver cracked its way up his spine. Just the mere mention of her did all sorts of funny things to his body. He couldn't deny that they were pleasant and wonderful, but it was still bittersweet all the same. The very woman who made his heart beat rapidly and crash like a tidal wave also made it slow like a ripple in a bond that would soon halt and cease. Yes, she appeared to be up for grabs. For everyone except him, of course.

Despite not having said anything, Kaoru knew that a lady as divine as her could never be obtained by someone like him. It was exceedingly possible for her to be swept away by their majesty and lord, the assumed first in line for her hand. Then there was Kyouya, the ever "cool" Shadow King and her unfortunately named mother. His aura of mystery, her blunt and blatant honesty, and their mutual intelligence was an interesting mixture of chemistry. Hunny and Mori weren't much to look at in this race for her heart, but he wouldn't be surprised if she favored the giant over all of them because of his bravery, courage, honesty, and, above all, his quietness.

But having that kind of competition didn't bother him at all. Each man that he had to be aware of was just that: a man. They each had something different to offer and that made everything fair. They were all smart and charming in their own right, so the rest was left up to their fair princess. But the man who knocked him out of the race entirely was none other than Hikaru - his older and more deserving brother.

Being twins meant learning how to share. Once that concept was grasped, the rest fell into place. They would share a room, clothes, books, and toys, and everything else without fussing over the matter. It only got easier as they grew older, latching on to one another more and more as people understood them less and less. Even with the introduction of the Host Club, they were never _really _much better off. They felt more wanted and included, but they were still one in the same. Until she came along and told them apart, that is.

And once Kaoru realized that a treasure like her existed in the world, his own beating heart shattered within his chest. For someone so special and lovely had just walked into their lives, sweeping the both of them off their feet instead of the other way around. And when he knew that they were both trying to win her over, he purposely tripped and fell for Hikaru. After all, a precious gift like that was only meant for one.

So his bright and sunny day was suddenly filled with storm clouds. The kind that would send Haruhi into a fit of panic and, hopefully, right into his arms. At least, that was how he perceived his surroundings to be. In all reality, nothing had changed. The sky was still a warm shade of blue, the clouds puffy and wispy as ever, but he couldn't see that anymore. In fact, all he saw was a long-legged brunette in khaki shorts and an orange t-shirt surrounded by darkness. The same beauty that opened his world up to the light of day also had the ability to throw it back into oblivion. Imagine that.

But he figured it was like this: If he had anything to say about it. He'd heard that line a billion times. _"Not if I have anything to say about it!" _He entertained the idea of responding to such a bold person with, _"And if you don't?" _It was silly, but true. If someone thought they had really had a say in certain decisions and life events, wouldn't they just prevent those sort of things from happening? He certainly would.

For if he had a say in anything, Haruhi wouldn't work for the Host Club. She wouldn't wear a boy's uniform, wouldn't keep her hair that short, and wouldn't live in this part of town. She would focus on her studies and become the best lawyer in the entire Western hemisphere. There would be no teasing or mocking, no exploiting her "commoner" lifestyle, and no more unnecessary contact with... certain people.

For instance, Tamaki, his gracious and wonderful King, would never lay a finger on her again. He would surrender his fatherly act and recognize Haruhi as the beautiful young woman she is. And then, of course, he would step aside and abandon all hopes of ever holding her. Kyouya would stop holding her debt over her head and see her as an equal on every level. And then there was the complex matter of Hikaru, his brother-dearest.

If he had a say in the matter, Hikaru wouldn't even be in the same class as he and Haruhi. He would be somewhere else far down the hallway and to the left. There would be another pretty girl, a redhead, perhaps, and he would be crazy for her. She could even share some personality traits with Haruhi, she just couldn't _be _her. And then the two of them could live happily ever after.

And if he had a say in anything, the gorgeous and modest creature in front of him would be his. She would share smiles with him that she would with no one else. Laugh at his corny jokes and blushing face. She would be happy to hold his hand and lean her head against his shoulder. She would let him hold her during all of those thunderstorms and seek comfort from no one but him. She would wear pretty dresses and go on dates to wherever her heart desired. Her eyes would light up when he called her or sent her a text and she'd be just as anxious to see him as he was to see her.

But the reality of everything was that he didn't have a say in it at all. She would show up to class on Monday in the Ouran Academy boy's uniform, blazer and all. She would never grow out her hair again or wear dresses by choice. She would return home to that small little apartment with her father and study like mad to keep her scholarship. She would become the greatest lawyer in the Western hemisphere, that he was sure of, but it wouldn't be an easy road. No, she would never be any of the things he thought she should be, but... he supposed that's why he fell in love with her.

And in that weird way that only made sense to him, he smiled at the thought. He didn't need to have a say in anything for her to be perfect, she was that way naturally. Perfectly imperfect in every possible way. And so putting aside all thoughts of princes, and kings, and brothers, Kaoru decided to pick back up his pace and try and cross the invisible finish line. Even if this was not something he could share with Hikaru, he doubted that he would anyway.

It might cause a fight, creating a few lonely nights away from his twin, but... something as precious as her was worth it, he was sure. And it was only for a moment on this peculiar day, where the sheer forces of nature seemed to lead him to this place for a reason. He had a purpose, he supposed. And being a man who was out of place, out of sorts, surely out of his mind, and out of reasons to turn back, he zigzagged through the crowd of people, the darkness of his clouded mind vanishing, and hollered, "Haruhi! I need to ask you something."

* * *

"A/N: Yes, you can blame Marianas Trench for this one-shot. I've been dying to write something serious and horror-related for weeks now, but I keep listening to their songs. The result is happy and usually fluffy or cute. So here you go. Kaoru is my favorite twin and I feel like he's very under-appreciated and his inner struggle with Haruhi and Hikaru just breaks my heart. I think he'd be much better with her than Hikaru, personally. Anywho, this was just a random idea that came to mind. The phrase, "If I have anything to say about it" is what put this whole thing in motion. A simple idea for my simple mind, I suppose. Eh, just leave me a review, please, and let me know what you think. I'd really like to write more for this pairing."


End file.
